Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is: "Any incident of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality".

Sometimes, children who live with domestic abuse can experience the following:

  • Fear and helplessness, guilt, shame, isolation
  • Blaming the abuser or trying to stop them
  • Blaming the victim for not leaving or standing up to the abuser
  • Getting hurt from trying to intervene
  • Stress from trying to help brothers and sisters
  • Not wanting to bring friends home
  • Trying to get help for the victim
  • Wishing someone would help or wishing everyone would stop interfering
  • Being involved with police or social services
  • Throwing themselves into school, college, work
  • Missing school, college, staying home to protect the victim

 

If you are experiencing or seeing domestic violence and abuse, remember the abuser is completely responsible for the abuse – you, your brothers and sisters, and the parent being abused are not to blame.

wall domestic abuse

Teen Dating Abuse

Domestic abuse is not limited to adults; there is an increasing awareness of domestic violence within teen relationships.

  • 1 in 5 teenage girls have been assaulted by a boyfriend.
  • Young women are more likely to experience sexual violence then other age groups.
  • Young women with older partners are at increased risk of victimisation.
  • Recent surveys (including NSPCC, Zero Tolerance and End Violence Against Women campaign) reveal that approximately 40% of our young people are already being subjected to relationship abuse in their teenage years.

All forms of abuse is unacceptable, and needs to be stopped. If you are a young person living in a home where there is domestic violence between the adults, although it might not always be obvious if what’s happening at home is domestic abuse. But if somebody in your family uses bullying or violence to get another adult to do what they want, that’s domestic abuse.

Making a Safety Plan

If you’re experiencing domestic abuse in the home where you live, it’s really important to have a safe place that you can go to. And remember, if you or anyone else is ever in danger you should call the Police on 999.

  • Make a plan ahead of time and keep it somewhere safe
  • Find a safe place, if you have to stay at home think about somewhere safe to go
  • Keep a contact number. Write down the name and contact number of someone you trust if you need someone to call.

Domestic violence and abuse happens in lots of families and there are people that can help you and your family. Everyone has the right to be and feel safe.If you are a young person experiencing violence or abuse in your own relationship you have a right to have your feelings and your relationship taken seriously whatever your age.

If you feel it’s safe, tell your parents how you feel about what’s happening at home. They may not realise that you know what’s happening or how scary it is. Talk to a trusted adult about what’s happening, this can really help. If you’re worried for your own safety, it’s important to talk to somebody as soon as you can.

Getting Help

You don’t have to deal with what is happening alone, there are people who can help you cope with what is going on.

If you are worried about a child or friend or need help call FREE, any time of the day or night:

The Police - 999

Childline - 0800 1111

The National Domestic Abuse 24 hour Hotline - 0808 2000 247

You can also contact the MASH on 10904 551900 (9-5pm) after hours 01609 780780 or email MASH@york.gov.uk if you are worried about yourself or someone you know

Useful Links

The following organisations can also help you and give you free confidential advice:

http://thehideout.org.uk/

https://www.refuge.org.uk/

http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/

https://www.childline.org.uk/